Don't Hide From the World
by Riiko Shea
Summary: A oneshot about what happened after Remus fought with Harry in DH. "Don't hide. Don't hide from the world."


**A/N: **Hello! This is a oneshot about what Remus did after being yelled at by Harry in the chapter "The Bribe" in DH. So yes, I guess there are sort of spoilers... but not really.

Anyways, please read and enjoy, and review when you're done!

**Disclaimer: **None of it is mine.

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**Don't Hide From the World**

_How could he?_ Remus Lupin tore through the streets of Muggle London, running, just running, to get away from Number Twelve Grimmauld Place. Harry Potter... he had loved the boy, and he had been repaid with... cruelty. Lies.

_You still love him, Remus, _he thought, stopping at a corner to catch his breath.

_And you know he's right._

But how could he go back to Tonks? He had known all along that this relationship would not work. Never. Tonks was young, silly, carefree... she didn't know what she was doing when she had said she loved him, or when she had agreed to marry him.

_But _you_ proposed. And _you_ got her pregnant, Remus Lupin. It's your own fault. _

Remus tore at his hair, collapsing on a bench. He had run a half-mile or so from the house, maybe more. He couldn't tell. All around him the sounds of the night called to him. He groaned, tears streaming down his face. Never had he hated himself more than now.

Suddenly, out of the darkness in front of him, a shape appeared. Remus squinted, wiping his eyes.

A dog came forward from across the road, black and skinny. Remus bit his lip and held out his hand. The creature shied from him for a moment, but then stepped closer, allowing his head to be caressed. A symbol, perhaps?

_Wishful thinking, Remus. It's a stray. Nothing more._

After a moment Remus stood. He would go back to the old, abandoned house that had been his childhood home for the night. He did not want to see anyone. He wanted to wallow in self-pity and self-hate.

An hour later he exited the train, and after another quarter hour he was at the farmhouse.

Its old door was unlocked, and the windows were cracked. The paint was peeling, and he knew that the running water rarely worked.

Entering the kitchen, he whispered, "_Lumos._" The little light illuminated the blankets where he curled up every full moon, now that he no longer used the Shrieking Shack. It was too close to civilization, and he no longer had friends to guard him.

After a minute, Remus wandered out to the backyard. The moon was half-full... but it didn't matter. He was no longer vulnerable on full moons, as were other humans.

He sank down on the large, flat rock where he, Sirius, James, and Peter had once played Muggle board games and games like, "Never Have I" and "Truth or Dare". Putting his head in his hands again, he thought of Harry, his green eyes confused and slightly angry, saying, "I'm pretty sure my father would have wanted to know why you aren't sticking with your kid, actually."

Remus laughed without humor. "You're right, Harry. You're right." He rubbed his smarting eyes as Harry's accusing words chased themselves around and around in his head.

"I see, so you're just going to dump her and the kid and run off with us?"

"I'd be pretty ashamed of him."

"I think you're feeling a bit of a daredevil. You fancy stepping into Sirius's shoes-"

And then, deep within him, James's words, when Remus had found out that they were animagi, words that always gave him strength. "Moony, you sell yourself short. You don't trust yourself, but we trust you! We can take care of ourselves. You be yourself, and we'll be all right. Don't hide. Don't hide from the world."

"Werewolf. Cursed, dangerous, werewolf." Who had said that? Snape? A Ministry employee? No matter. He'd heard it so many times now it didn't make a difference. But every time, it hurt. It cemented his thoughts that he was too dangerous.

_You wonder why I sell myself short, James? Because I'm too dangerous to do anything else._

Suddenly, he heard footsteps in the woods. Remus quickly stood, pulling out his wand... only to drop it in shock when a white stag, followed by a light brown doe, stepped out of the forest. "Great Godric," murmured Remus. Another sign? Or another coincidence?

The two creatures stepped up to him. The doe shoved her delicate nose against his cheek, and he could see the red tint of her coat. He stroked her and then looked at the stag, who stared at Remus, then bent his head to poke him, hard, with an antler.

Remus gasped and clutched his side, expecting to be mauled, but the stag then nuzzled Remus's shoulder, affectionately, as if apologizing.

Remus stroked the two of them for several minutes, before the stag turned to his friend, nudging her flank. She looked at Remus one more time, sadly, before turning, too, and they melted back into the forest.

Remus stood there for a long time, thinking. Then, as the sun started to rise, he heard a voice calling him. "Remus? I know you're here... don't hide. Don't hide from the world." And the voice broke.

Remus couldn't move. _Those words... how did she know? _More importantly,what to do? Tonks would find him in a moment... but even as his head told him to flee, his heart murmured, _You love her, Remus. You love her. You want her to have your child. Go to her, Remus. Go, go..._

"Remus?"

He closed his eyes, only to open them quickly when he heard Tonks hit the ground, retching. He hurried to her side and helped her to a more comfortable position, so she could throw up in the abandoned sandbox where he had played as a little kid.

A few minutes later, she was done. Tonks looked up at him, tears streaking her face. Her hair was mousy brown, tumbling to the middle of her back, and her eyes were light brown. She wasn't morphed today, then. She was wearing black pants and a long, beige sweater he recognized, with a start, as his own.

"I- I know why you left, Remus," Tonks murmured. She looked down, fingering her stomach, which still remained flat. "And... Remus, if you want to divorce me, you can." She was rushing, the words tumbling out of her in a torrent. "You really can. I want you to be happy, and if that would make you happy, that's what we'll do. But... I love you, Remus. And I know you hate yourself, and you don't trust yourself with me, but really, I... I love you!"

Tonks buried her face in her hands and started to cry. Remus stared at her in shock, and a final speech from his dead friends floated into his mind's ear. "We'll leave you if you want, Moony. Lily won't stay up and make you tea, we three will sleep instead of running with you. We want you to be happy. But Remus, we love you. We care."

And suddenly, he felt Tonks's hurt, just as James, Sirius, Lily, and Peter had been hurt all those years ago. They tried to care, but he had pushed them away, getting angry, treating them cruelly. His fear had created a barrier, and when someone had tried to broach it with kindness, he had hurt them, trying to protect them... and himself.

And he had hurt them. And he was sorry.

Now, Remus wrapped his arms around his wife, clutching her body to his, tears streaming down his own face. "I'm sorry, Dora... I'm sorry! I'm so sorry... I don't want to hurt you anymore." They rocked back and forth, comforting each other.

Finally, Remus leaned back against the flat rock, Tonks in his lap. She was twisting his wedding band idly on his finger, and his eyes were closed, thinking. "Remus..." He opened his eyes.

"Yes, Dora?"

"Does this mean... you're not leaving?"

Remus closed his eyes again. It was now or never. And then James's voice, hurt and upset, echoed by Tonks's crying, broken voice... "Don't hide. Don't hide from the world."

And then he grabbed her, turned her around, and kissed her, kissing her fiercely, and finally, when he pulled away to breathe, he whispered, "I won't. I won't leave... because I can't hide. I won't. I'll make them proud." And as Tonks captured his lips with hers, he heard her whisper,

"Yes, Remus, James and Sirius will be proud. And I am."

_How did she know...?_

_Don't hide from the world._

**A/N: **And there it is! I know Lily, James, and Sirius "coming back" as animals isn't going to happen, but it fit my need and the story, so, well... okay!

Please review and tell me what you think... and if you like Ron/Hermione, check out my oneshot "Speak!", or if you like the Marauder era, my multi-chapter story, "And Then Came the Rain".

))Riiko Shea((


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